Physicists Warn of Temporal Catastrophe Likely at E3

Los Angeles – Physicists from UCLA’s department of Theoretical Elementary Particles today voiced concerns about the effect next week’s Electronic Entertainment Expo is having on the fabric of space-time. According to specialists in the nature of time at the university, a series of increasingly anomalous results from experiments conducted in UCLA’s high energy lab forewarn of a potentially dangerous, perhaps apocalyptic disruption to the normal flow of time. In cooperation with several other research facilities around the world, and by pouring through the mounds of data being produced by multiple particle accelerators, a logarithmic increase in so called “causal fractures” has been identified. Using[…]