The Dread Lord Kotick Plans to “Guitar Hero” the Call of Duty Franchise

Forced to comment on the assault at Infinity Ward on Monday, Activision released a statement outlining their plans to ride the Call of Duty into the ground. In addition to the Treyarch developed Call of Duty expected this fall and an anticipated Modern Warfare 3 in 2011, a spin-off game from developer Sledgehammer is also due in 2011. Rumors are already swirling as to the nature of this new direction for the franchise, but the following video sent to us from a source inside Sledgehammer points to a rather unexpected direction. Internally, the game is being called “Call of Duty: Boot Camp”[…]

Bobby Kotick Wields Secret Army as Cudgel

News broke late today about a dust up between Activision and the leadership at Infinity Ward, the creators of Call of Duty. Perhaps more alarming than the sudden departure, and apparent firing, of the studio’s founders is the original report from which confirms the existence of Activision’s long rumored Gestapo. Infinity Ward employees sent numerous twitter and facebook updates as Bobby Kotick’s goon squad surrounded their building and stormed the premises. The artists and programmer valiantly defended their cubicles with airsoft guns, nerf darts and shaken-up cans of soda, but they were eventually routed. A reliable death count is[…]

Sony Time Travel Experiment Ends in Success, Angry Calls

Sony today announced the successful conclusion of their long planned experiment with time manipulation. Ken Kutaragi, father of the PlayStation, designed the PS3 console with an undisclosed time manipulation component designed to be remotely activated over the PlayStation Network. The goal was to create a world-wide network of flux capacitors, simultaneously generating the desired tachyon manipulation field across most of the globe and leveraging the distributed computing power of the PS3’s CPU to perform the necessary calculations. PS3 owners experienced the experiment, which caused the individual consoles to shift slightly out of phase with our space-time continuum, as a 24 hour interruption in online services and[…]

Exclusive: StarCraft II beta outsiders

While every blog and their brother is out there giving you hands on impressions of the graphics and gameplay of the long awaited follow-up to Blizzard‘s original sci-fi RTS, here at Gamer Blahhhg we’re taking a more comprehensive view of the beta. Anyone can give you a rundown of the map types, units and mechanics of the sequel’s beta. A number of sites are even streaming live video of multi-player matches. But what about what it’s like to not be in the beta? Who is going to tell that story? We are! This issue was first brought to our attention[…]

NFL to become professional videogame league.

In a surprise announcement today following the conclusion of Superbowl XLIV, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell outlined plans to transition from their current focus on physical matches to a system of virtual matches played out in a custom version of EA’s Madden videogame. Citing mounting concerns over the long term health problems associated with repeated concussions and other injuries commonly suffered by players and budgetary pressures created by ever increasing salary caps, the League’s leadership, in conjunction with the individual team owners, came to the conclusion that digitally simulated contests were the inevitable future of Football. By making the transition sooner,[…]

Swine Flu linked to Violent Video Games

Disreputable news outlets are reporting the findings of a Pennsylvania housewife who dreamed last week that the deadly H1N1 virus, known colloquially as the swine flu, is the result of a mutation that occurred when SARS was exposed to Grand Theft Auto 4. Video game critics Dave Grossman, Jack Thompson and countless Fox News pundits nearly wet themselves with excitement when the story broke as the various news outlets started booking self proclaimed violent video game experts for television appearances again. Crusading zealots suspect the original disease was bombarded by the same video game-based radiation that turns shiny happy people into ruthless[…]