Recently released screenshots of the English version of Final Fantasy XIII have revealed one of the best kept secrets in videogames. To the astonishment of many, FFXIII’s story will include an improbable crossover with the film version of Transformers. The characters already revealed will each be paired with either an Autobot or a Decepticon during battle. Combat will be focused on slow-mo shots of these giant robots jumping and diving around like morons.

Described as the natural progression from last Summer’s war crime, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the new Final Fantasy will follow the adventures of a Japanese suicide club as they team up with a group of newly arrived Autobots who speak with insulting, stereotypical accents.

I guess Shia Labeouf character was corrupted during his journey to robot heaven or something and like the shards of the cube have embedded themselves in his heart, darkening it and now the only thing between him and cybernetic Godhood is a handful of gaunt, Japanese teenagers.

When reached for comment on his island fortress, Michael Bay laughed diabolically for an extended period of time.